i went back into it again... this time however im more or less ready to handle whatever it is to charge up at me... i wanna experience it once more... to see if im really ready to accept living in the system... and just maybe there could really be a chance of compromise... living in and out of the "matrix"

for a brief moment it felt as though it could happened... i thought "hey... this could just be it!" but fuck... how wrong was i to be... my guard went up when i saw "agents" hanging around the area

so then.... there i was... even before the food in my digestive system could be fully broken down... i was attacked in full force! the "agents" had been planning this move... and i must say it was a rather well executed one... HA! "fuck you!" i thought to myself... im SO ready now... i had been half expecting it and now i feel as though i can single handedly kick their freaking ass high up in the blue skies...

their movement were fast and swift... trying their moves and trying to find my weak spot... i must say they almost found it... but my will is even stronger than before... after their first wave of attack... blood and guts splatted all over... screams and shouts of both agonies and power can be "heard & felt"

soon i found myself being cornered with no possible way of escape... i didnt panic... keeping my calm... i was forced to use my secret weapon...

keeping them at bay... i can feel their frustrations... they gave all they had and i countered with whatever i had been training with... and there...i won the battle

the dust settled and in the end there was only one victim... her...

im sad i wounded her... i seriously do not know what her intentions are and i was forced to hurt her... our worlds are different... our dreams are wrong...

sorry i had to leave you lying there in pain... i know that i will and would wanna see you again... but the next time we meet...i will have one hand in my pocket... on my gun... really to strike you down anytime

today i went into the "matrix".... what was supposed to be a date turned into a terrible experience inside the complex twists n turns in the "system"...

i was interrogated with many questions that i couldnt answer... i became confused and tried escaping... however the "agent smiths" were strong... holding me down firmly n trying hard to force the blue pill down my throat~ saying things that drilled deeply into my fragile mind~ Arghh... i screamed out loud inside my head as they violated me mentally... but who can hear as the "matrix" is full of blue pills itself~

i had a chance and i finally escaped~ however only to be corner again by even more agents at their HQ... this time i was prepared and i shut it all out... not wanting my weak mind to be willed by them again... finally n eventually i escaped... leaving the agents behind smiling and laughing at me...

i cant help feeling weak.... n violated... i thought i could handle the "system" but i guess i will need my training... i almost done the ultimate by taking the extreme blue pill...

but what sadden me most was that she is now inside the "matrix"... she is now an agent and she tried to "kill" me